200 Guinea Pigs on my Lawn

200 Guinea Pigs on my Lawn

Andrew’s Note:  Today we present an article by guest writer, Jay (Just Jay).  Jay is a combat veteran, a knowledge manager by day and serial inventor by night.  He’s had a number of interesting jobs through the years including collecting war trophies (like armored personnel carriers) in Iraq and a stint as a confidence course manager at a facility that used physical activity to build confidence in welfare recipients… to encourage them to work their way out of poverty.  Yeah, that worked. Enjoy.

An amusing article was posted recently over at Movoto Blog [link] discussing the merits of various animals as lawn mowers.  Once you get past the (really cool) calculator to determine how many of the animal of choice you’d need to tend your yard, there’s actually some interesting insights that could help not only your landscaping, but aid your self-reliance efforts and potential survivability.

According to the calculator, I would have to release an army of more than 200 guinea pigs to maintain my yard.   Not sure what Homeland Security alarms will be sounded by ordering 200 guinea pigs from my local pet store, but might be worth it for the comic value alone.

The article gives a fun description of the merits of cows, goats, sheep, chickens, and yes, guinea pigs.  It further describes the pros and cons of each.  While livestock may not be a solution in all cases, it might be worth considering in the self-reliance quest beyond mere landscaping.

Not sure what Homeland Security alarms will be sounded by ordering 200 guinea pigs from my local pet store, but might be worth it for the comic value alone.

  1. Income.  Many business and local governments have discovered the effectiveness of animal-mowers, both to their bottom line and desire to be perceived as “green.”   The cost and capability of maintaining animals can be prohibitive.  If you live in a rural area, a trailer and some portable fencing could provide you a decent side-gig.  Show up, set up a fence, then read a book while the animals do what they do best.
  2. Clear growth.  In some places, you can be fined for not maintaining your (private!) property. More importantly, with little effort, you can selectively clear areas (or not) that let you shape accessibility in an out of your property.  The best barriers are natural.  This strategy can also help you clear areas for growing your food or hosting other livestock.
  3. Animals are delicious!  For the record, I have not eaten a guinea pig.  That said, meat is meat.  Animals can, of course, provide meat and skins.  If things go sideways, you would have additional food sources.

Is this a solution for everybody?  Of course not.  But self-reliance is all about assessing your situation and utilizing all available resources – even non-traditional tasty ones – to ensure the safety and security of you and those you care about.


Note from Andrew:  I actually looked at guinea pigs as an alternative to raising rabbits a while back…after reading that they’ve provided a sustainable food source for the people of Ecuador, Peru & Bolivia since the time of the Incas.

Per Britannica.com

  • Breed all year long
  • Litters of 4-13
  • 68 Day gestation
  • 1-3 lbs when mature (2 Months for females, 3 for males)


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2 Responses to “200 Guinea Pigs on my Lawn”

  1. Now, that’s funny! Might work if you only ordered 50 at a time.

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